Mummies review – nonsense kiddie-flick should be avoided like a plague of locusts – The Guardian

You might end up, as Speaking Heads may need stated, watching this animated function about lifeless but ambulatory mummified historic Egyptians capering about some bizarre model of London. And chances are you’ll ask your self, not solely how did you get right here when the oracle warned you to not go, however what did you do in a previous life to deserve this?

You might also ask your self all types of questions in regards to the easy logic of this very poorly written and ill-considered movie. Similar to: why do the mum characters appear to be common people more often than not besides in sure sorts of sunshine which make them appear to be trick-or-treaters carrying dangerous skeleton make-up? How did they magically get again from our world to their underworld land of the mum lifeless on the finish of the movie with such ease, given it was presupposed to be so difficult within the first act? Why does the villain – a crazed museum curator named Lord Carnaby (Hugh Bonneville) – have such a bizarre obsession along with his mom (Celia Imrie, who like Bonneville is popping an inexpensive voiceover trick presumably for the cash)? How did the heroine, a mummy princess named Nefer (Eleanor Tomlinson), who apparently aspires to be an undead Ariana Grande with a bobbed coiffure, instantly be taught to sing Stroll Like an Egyptian? And why doesn’t she discover the lyrics offensive, being an actual Egyptian?

Movie-makers appear to assume any outdated brightly colored nonsense is sweet sufficient to be shovelled out to cinemas for the kiddiewinks over the Easter holidays, however this one is a conflict crime. Not solely is it as spinoff as chatbot-written free verse, it’s additionally not even nice to take a look at. Stroll like an Egyptian in a short time away from the multiplex.

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