Cocaine Shark Review: A Terrible & Lazy B-Movie – ComingSoon.net

With the success of Cocaine Bear within the theaters earlier this 12 months, it was solely a matter of time earlier than different animals fell sufferer to narcotics and B-movie extra.

A cocaine shark is the logical subsequent step. In any case, sharks have an ocean of B-movies to their identify — from Sharknado to Shark Exorcist. And simply earlier than Cocaine Bear premiered, New Zealand police found over three tons of cocaine floating within the ocean. Cocaine shark memes quickly adopted, naturally.

However Cocaine Shark, from director Mark Polonia, isn’t a narrative of sharks who can’t say ‘no’ to medicine. It facilities on a narcotic created from shark gland, the gangsters wanting to site visitors it, and the hapless mutant-shark-thing caught within the center.

The story isn’t what you most likely count on. First off, there aren’t any precise sharks on this movie. There are shark mutants, sure, however not even a little bit of fearsome shark b-roll. The vast majority of the movie offers with the absurd story of gangsters attempting to smuggle the shark drug. To make issues extra difficult, the story is advised in flashbacks from by an undercover narcotics detective. As an alternative, he will get captured and recounts his story below the haze of medication.

Cocaine Shark is unhealthy. Actually, actually unhealthy. It’s not even “so unhealthy it’s good,” it’s simply “so unhealthy it’s unhealthy.” The “plot” is nonsensical, with random actors and scenes thrown in with nearly no motive or logic. It comes throughout as an affordable gangster film the producers threw hokey monster scenes in to money in on the Search engine marketing-friendly title.

Something one may name “filmcraft” is newbie at greatest. Camerawork is poor, with low cost and ugly digital pictures. The performing is flat throughout the board, with actors so centered on saying the proper phrases they don’t put any life into it. Most of the scenes are over-lit, with characters shiny, orange, blown out, or some mixture of the three.

However let’s speak concerning the monsters. Even a horrible film may be pleasing with enjoyable monster sequences to assist it. Cocaine Shark follows mutant sharks which have escaped into the better inhabitants. This features a Man Shark (learn: man in an affordable rubber masks) and a Crab Shark, which appears to be like like a Play-Doh toy. There’s additionally a bat-spider hybrid creation that is mindless – it’s not a shark – however you solely see this creature in a single still-frame on the prime of the film. A pity — it’s the most effective design in the entire thing.

The monster scenes have been few and much between. Each now and again, there’s a shot of an affordable shark monster “swimming” throughout the display screen. This similar shot is repeated again and again, usually occasions with no narrative clarification. I’d estimate that there was solely about 5% of display screen time dedicated to monsters. I can respect horrible results (and these are ghastly), however these have been virtually non-existent.

There wasn’t even an try at sensible results. In a single scene, Man Shark claws a gangster’s face, killing him. The one make-up impact used is a few pretend blood streaked throughout his face. As in the event that they couldn’t be bothered to affix a single wound or gash.

Cocaine Shark is a nasty film. I like unhealthy motion pictures, however there’s “unhealthy” after which there’s “lazy.” Shoddy tools, flat actors, and a common lack of filmic data was all I noticed right here. That is low cost try and gin up clicks for the “cocaine + animal” formulation. Don’t give in to the ploy. You’re higher off with Sharktopus or 2-Headed Shark Assault than with this abomination.

… at the least it’s solely an hour lengthy?

SCORE: 1/10

As ComingSoon’s evaluation coverage explains, a rating of 1 equates to “Terrible.”

ComingSoon doesn’t take pleasure in giving out an terrible score, and it’s typically reserved for video video games which are damaged or leisure that’s devoid of any redeeming qualities.

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