’Righteous Thieves’ Review: An Unconvincing Crew Targets Nazi Art Thieves in Lowbrow Heist Movie – Variety
“Righteous Thieves” ends with its protagonists having a wee pageant of self-congratulation, sipping champagne as they promise themselves — and maybe threaten viewers — they’ll have extra adventures just like the one which’s simply wrapped. Their delight isn’t infectious, as a result of this dopey caper’s prior 90 minutes have been slightly like hoisting a flute of promised champers solely to style flat Fresca.
Director Anthony Nardolillo and author Michael Corcoran’s movie strikes a pose of sly ingeniousness all through that’s uncorroborated by any precise cleverness, shock, wit, pressure, thrills or a lot else you’d hope for in a high-end-heist story. The “righteous” half — that our heroes are reclaiming artworks stolen by Nazis way back — feels no much less superficial than all the pieces else on this uninspired style piece. Lionsgate opens it in seven U.S. theatrical markets March 10, simultaneous with digital and on demand launch.
Temporary prologues set in 1943 and 1985 set up background for Annabel (Lisa Vidal) as CEO of a mysterious group in any other case comprised of aged Jewish males — one in all their late brethren as soon as “saved” her from a lifetime of youthful criminality. That Holocaust-surviving mentor “believed he may heal the world of all its ache by way of artwork, and he wished to provide again all the wonder that was stolen by Nazis,” she explains.
Thus her newest mission for the group is regaining 4 priceless work (by Monet, Degas, Picasso and Van Gogh) which were lacking since World Warfare 2, however at the moment are recognized to be within the possession of German enterprise capitalist Otto Huizen (Brian Cousins). As if that weren’t unhealthy sufficient, he’s additionally “attempting to create a neo-Nazi Fourth Reich,” consorts with Russian oligarchs and says issues like (re: returning the paintings) “Ze verld is nut verthy uv zem” in an accent proper out of “Springtime for Hitler.”
An motion film that has nearly no motion for almost an hour, “Thieves” as a substitute occupies itself with Annabel assembling a crew to penetrate Otto’s closely guarded fortress — situated, conveniently, proper there in Los Angeles. With herself as mastermind, the others drafted are 2nd Lt. Eddie (Carlos Miranda), hacker Lucille (Jaina Lee Ortiz), safecracker Nadia (Sasha Merci) and strongarm Bruno (Cam Gigandet).
These persons are purported to be good good guys adept at skirting the regulation. However we solely know that as a result of we preserve being advised as a lot, and since the actors are instructed to smirk by way of fixed lame demonstrations of one-upmanship. Corcoran’s screenplay doesn’t present them the repartee or intricacy of insider data to impress, they usually panic and/or yell at one another on the drop of a hat. That is the crème de la crème? They don’t even vet newcomer Bruno sufficient to anticipate that macho blowhard’s probably betrayal. So as a substitute of formidable geniuses, this “crew” tends to return off as over-coiffed cleaning soap opera actors posturing like they’re in some series-pilot mashup of “Mission: Inconceivable” and “Ocean’s 11.”
Once we lastly get to the break-in, that doesn’t present important pleasure both, as there aren’t any notable twists or problems — simply a typical array of skirmishes between the protagonists and varied safety goons, with ample if uninspired struggle choreography.
Nardolillo (of boxing story “seventh & Union,” salsa-dance drama “Shine”) and firm do deserve credit score for making an attempt this type of shiny caper on comparatively modest means. Stylistically a minimum of, the movie makes a good stab at rising to the subtle escapist stage aimed for. However that’s completely a matter of passably modern costuming, areas and cinematography, to not point out bombastically overenthusiastic soundtrack choices attempting to force-inject adrenalin into lackluster proceedings.
These floor parts can’t disguise the script’s typically groan-worthy dialogue, one-dimensional characters the forged can’t do a lot with or an absence of the crafty plot turns such intrigues require. Each time Vidal’s eyes moisten on the considered Nazi demise camps or the sight of an awesome portray, that knee-jerk try at depth solely underlines that this medium-shiny bundle has treasured little content material, and much too little plausibility to go dragging in real-world tragedies.
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